Hatness

Image: Ladies Hat Day at the Races

I don’t know where I first heard the term, “Hatness” but it’s been around awhile and here’s what it means: One who is wild about hats. If I'm not mistaken it originated in the literary world, but I don't recall the author who first used the word. I can remember that I joined the hat craze back in the eighties and resurrected the Annie Hall look with my own brand of Hatness. 

Here is the poster girl for Hatness. Lauren is the quintessential Hat Lady. She has a well-worn hat for every occasion, each and every hat she sports, a perfect symbol of charm and grace. 

What goes around comes around, they say. I believe Hatness is in the air again. 

Girls, I say we go ALL  IN and bring Hatness back to life forever. 

Who's with me? 

Grace Jolene is all in. Check out that sassy fall outfit. From the top of her head to the soles of her feet she has a flair for chic as you can well see. 

This is a shot of Girls’ Night Out with my friends Jane & Meg.  Jane, the one in the middle, always has a perfect hair day – always – so she’s exempt from hats. But Meg & I got it going on, don’t we? You may be asking right now, “Girl, where’d y’all find them hats?" Which I’m about to tell you. Hold your horses. 

First, wonderful, BREAKING NEWS: The perfect solution for bad hair days is here. Summertime frizzy hair days. Out-of-hand cowlicks, discolored roots and - best of all - dirty hair days. Forget the hairspray. Spend your cash on hats.

If a bad hair day or a dirty hair day keeps you from church or keeps you from going out on the town with your girlfriends or whatever, I declare unto you this day, freedom! Freedom, I say.

We must form a sisterhood alliance, a united front.

We must resurrect hats today!  But please, whatever you do, NEVER settle for a baseball cap unless you're just going for a stroll in the woods. 

Tips for Hat Shopping

Everywhere I go people ask where I get my hats. Why is that? Because hats have not been in trend for a while now.

My friend Judy (left): I love me some hats, but they haven’t been much in style lately.

Me: So let’s change that. Let’s bring back hats!

So all three of us (including Lynanne in the middle) agree to show up in hats next girls’ lunch. And that’s just what we did. Guy who took our orders admired our classy look; you could tell.

Guy: “Look at you, ladies, in those hats. Y’all look like you’re on the way to the Kentucky Derby.” Mind you, these are far from Kentucky Derby hats. Anyway, here we are.

To shop for hats you gotta know where to go. Your best bet is to make a beeline to one of the stores geared toward your soul sisters. They got it going on when it comes to hats, as Glennis will tell you shortly.

Go past the five-inch platform shoes and the rack of bling & costume jewelry, past a thousand racks of the latest wildest trends you’ve ever seen, and near the back of the store, voila! Hats, hats, hats!!!

Or you can skip the trip and go straight to Amazon and feed your hat addiction because here they have any kind of hat you can imagine – even Kentucky Derby hats galore.

~*~

For further instructions on how to wear your sassy hats, check out Glennis Redmond’s advice on endless possibilities: Glennis is the most delightful and magical poet you will ever meet. This is her Poet Laureate hat. 

 Hats

Sistahs have always been able to style in hats.

 

You know they got it going on.

Those woman can wear hats from dusk til dawn.

 

You’ve got to be bold and have snap to sport a hat.

You’ve got to have it and know where it is at.

 

You’ve got to stop and cock it to the side.

Check them out and continue with your stride.

 

Profile it. Style it.

Then let them wow it.

 

Tilt it, lean it, or wear it straight in place.

A well worn hat is a symbol of grace.

 

You have heard people say it. I have too.

“Oh, she can wear a hat.

She sho ‘nough knows what to do.

 

Oh, a hat can get those oohs and aahs.

If it is totally bad, it gets applause.

 

Some hats are so bad, they are just bad to the bone.

People stop and say, “that girl has got in going on.”

 

Or say, “You just go girl, you just go on, girl,

‘cause with that hat you’re the finest thing in the world.”

HATS

HATS

HATS

Big ones, tall ones, small ones, fruity ones,

pointy ones, veiled ones, flowered ones

sporty ones

polka-dot ones

plain ones

and kufis too!

 

Lean it,

cock it,

style it,

profile it,

tilt it,

tip it,

check it,

sport it.

HATS

HATS

HATS

Do you dare to wear?

How do you fare?

Do you want to be bad to the bone?

Then get you a hat and get it going on!

Copyright 2000 by Glenis Redmond

Used with the author's permission 

Who’s with me? Will you find the courage to help me on my campaign to reinstate hats? If you dare to be so bold, drop me a line and say, Yes, I’m in all the way. I will go buy me a hat today!

 Feel free to post your own hat pictures below. 

 

 

A Wild Goose Day

 

You beg the goose, come here, come here! But the goose runs along and beckons you to follow his pace wherever.

The trick is keeping your eyes fixed and never losing sight of his whereabouts. Remember: the joy is forever in the adventure.

One particular wild goose day I’ll share.

Destiny calling me to a man’s bedside, a one-legged man I’d only met once or twice. At first I couldn’t find him anywhere. But everywhere I went I picked up treasures just for him.

The first stop: a gift shop selling floral bouquets. The one I favored featured a pink bird amid a garden of pink and white roses set in a porcelain rose-covered teacup and saucer.

“Perfect,” said the heart.

“How silly is that,” said reason. “We’re talking a guy who wears a red cap and whose theme song is ‘Over my dead body will they take my guns away.’ And you’re seriously taking a pink bird to his bedside?”

Beware lest logic talk you out of a wonder.

Just go with the goose and the heart and land on one treasure trove after another.

Next stop: a hospital giftshop. The one-legged man wasn’t there, but who cares? The wild goose shows me the word Serenity on a stone heart, then a healing card that can’t go wrong.

At last I reach Harmony rehab and find the one-legged man sitting up in his bed.

“Just a little something to brighten your room,” I say as I hand him the pink bird bouquet. His eyes fill with delight at such a crazy surprise. 

He holds the heart stone in the palm of his hand as though gifted with a diamond and soaks in the single word.

“Do you know that whole prayer?” I ask. “Most only know the first part, that famous verse, those common four lines.” You know those, right?" And we say it in unison.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept

the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can

And wisdom to know the difference.

Then I go on about accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, surrendering to his will, and trusting that God will make all things right. I recite it all by heart until forever and ever amen.

Have you had a wild goose day too? Tell me yours.