Snail Trainer by artist Kelly Vivanco
Love liberates the heart from cages of fear one latch at a time.
What do you still fear… unless you have arrived?
There are phobias for everything from fear of heights…to snakes…to water…to fire…to spiders…to fear of committing the unpardonable sin… to fear of death…to fear of poetry – that’s right, fear of poetry, known as metrophobia.
I had an aunt who developed keraunophobia from having witnessed a child struck and killed by lightning. She wasn’t just uneasy during storms; she was overcome with panic: shrieking, cringing, and ducking with every roar of sky, every crash of thunder, every bolt of lightning.
My black lab is also afflicted with this – and a fear of fireworks too. But he reacts by creeping up with anxious eyes and trying to hide his large self under our feet, akin to a dinosaur trying to hide behind a lamppost. (Remember Danny and the Dinosaur?)
A girl we knew had an irrational fear of clowns. At a birthday party we attended she dashed off and cowered in the next room… until the clown went away. That’s when I discovered the meaning of coulrophobia.
Tachophobia: the fear of speeds.
In my poem The Journey I refer to my distain for the fast lane. The nightmare of fifty car pile-ups and ambulance sirens. By no means am I a clinical case; nonetheless I still feel anxious on the freeway. With good reason…
Horns and motors, the rush of traffic, lights that hold you still in the middle of it all. Your heart pumping while you breathe deep and say your prayers…and remember why you despise the fast lane… Cricket, your mother-in-law, was killed by a drunk driver. July 31st, 1993.
Ever since you’ve loathed the whole scene, of being at the mercy of speed freaks. And you won’t go there unless you must.
Agoraphobia
Fear of open spaces
or of being in crowded, public places like markets.
Fear of leaving a safe place.
A moment turned nightmare. A wide open space swarming with strangers rushing by or walking aimless. You stare down at your slow feet as folks whoosh past, bags in hand.
Sunlight pours through sky roof, the bright part of the day.
Stores galore, elevators, escalators, restaurants and more. A food court, an Apple Store, a thousand shops to browse. You fight to keep your soul intact amid the madding crowd. But you lose it at the escalator while the world steps aboard the magic carpet and soars away.
You stand at the foot, rooted and still, frozen by a cloudburst of emotion. Because you can’t keep up the pace. Because you aren’t wired to race.
So you know why God made snails: to take life easy, take life slow… and to stick to their shells until it’s time to let go.
What do you fear or feel anxious about?
I used to think I was afraid of heights, but I'm not sure that is the case. I'm afraid of failure. That fear has threatened to keep me from trying at times. But God gently reminds me that I don't have to succeed in my plans. It's not about me, it's all about Him. Many blessings, Debra!
ReplyDeleteWe certainly have quite a few sources of anxiety, don't we Debra... In my case, the only time I truly get panicked is when I'm constrained in a tight space (MRI machines, crowded elevators, etc.). I have no good story or event to point to which justifies this fear, but it's been a part of me as long as I can remember.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, God's been working on me with this over the years, and I've made marked improvement in dealing with those situations when they occur.
Have a Blessed Day!
I too hate freeways and crowds. Strangely I am fine in a crowd if it is an outdoor concert. Don't know if its the music or the easy escape, but no panic attacks.
ReplyDelete@ Lisa - I too have been afraid of heights (acrophia). I recall the swinging bridge at Grandfather Mountain, when my whole family crossed the bridge without me :) On fear of failure… that seems to apply to most everyone. I love your outlook: that we don’t have to succeed in our plans. It’s all up to Him, who always causes up to triumph through our Lord Jesus Christ, in those things that matter.
ReplyDelete@ Phil – fear of closed spaces (claustrophobia) is among the most common. You’re right in your assessment that we all do have a number of anxieties. I only named a few of mine :) Mainly because I didn’t want to write a long dissertation. The interest in studying phobias came about years ago for some reason, probably during a time of self-analysis when I needed to understand neuroses. Now I’m of the belief that perfect love can and does cast out all fears eventually – especially the one of having committed the unpardonable sin (enissophobia).
ReplyDelete@ Jan – That’s interesting: like me you don’t like freeways and crowds, but don’t mind outdoor concerts. I’ve never had a panic attack but know those who have.
ReplyDeleteSuch beautifully crafted writing, Debra!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am petrified of freeways and will not drive on them myself - my poor husband has to do it all! I take back-roads to get me where I need to go. I also have a fear of heights in narrow places where there is a risk of losing my balance, so you won't find me doing any rappelling!
I agree that while some fears are understandably earned, others seem to develop out of nowhere and without explanation. I can live with my fears knowing that God cares for me just the way I am.
Martha, do you think it’s just that God gave us common sense? LOL! I am so happy to know I’m not the only one who hates the freeway. You just feel hemmed in amid the craziness. I designate drivers for this purpose too. Anyone but me. And you know, I’ve come to really appreciate the back roads and the scenic routes. When I do travel, I tend to prefer those places off the beaten path. Fears are natural, and some are God given, gifts of instinct meant for our protection.
ReplyDeleteI don't fear the dark or the freeway or tight spaces or even a crowd. I don't even know if my fear has a name like the other fears you've mentioned.
ReplyDeleteMy fear one that haunts me day after day is letting go, endings, and the thought that I am not there when ever or where ever someone needs me.
I do love snails and the reasoning behind god's reason for creating them.
Deb, yes. There is a name for it. It’s called hayfoditamobia; fear of letting go. Some can’t let go of old memories – either good or bad memories. And others of relationships. I’m wondering if your fear of letting go drags you down or holds you back in any way. Fear of endings is interesting. I’ve never thought of that one. But it is a real fear for many. It would be worth investigating to see how many are stricken with the fear of endings.
ReplyDeleteClaustrophia has come of nowhere in the past few years but I didn't know to what extent until last month. I had a MRI of my brain and my head was secured to the table, I freaked out halfway and thrashed about trying to get out. I tried to rip the halo off my head but it wouldn't bulge, somehow I regained control to finish the test but in the future sedation will be required LOL
ReplyDeleteDon't even get me to start thinking about confinement in a coffin or car trunk, I might have a heart attack :)
David - about the claustrophobia and the MRI; it sounds like this is another common fear. Confinement in a coffin (while still alive :) would give ANYBODY a heart attack!
ReplyDeleteI have a fear of heights. Can't seem to get over it. Even when I was supposed to scatter ashes off a certain rock suspended so high above sea level that I thought I'd have a nose bleed, I could not honor my promise. Still feel bad about that...but the toss would have taken years of therapy. Oh, and clowns bug me too. Don't quite get the paint and brightness of them.
ReplyDeleteDebra, I have Claustrophobia. I would rather die than go in for a MRI or in an elevator, minus an operator. There was a time when I was living on the 13th floor and I was 8 months pregnant, but have climbed the stairs rather than go in an empty elevator upto my floor. sometimes I would get in with people going up and ask them which floor they were going to, I would then get out on their floors and climb the rest of the floors. I panic in ATM booths too, am I sad or what? lol
ReplyDelete@ Annie – now there’s a good short story: an acrophobic who can’t scatter the ashes from the rock. You can always weave it into a story anyway. She could be one of your eccentric characters whose vertigo began as a child on her first Ferris wheel ride. How do people enjoy roller coasters and wild rides anyway? I’m sorry to hear you couldn’t honor your promise, but I’d say you had good reason to back down on this one. I’ve never quite figured out the humor in clowns either – clowns or circuses. The trapeze artists make me nervous too:)
ReplyDelete@ Sulekkha – Oh, the MRI, I can see why you’d rather die… Claustrophobia is no picnic :( But I must say that I love your memory about the elevator and would encourage you to write it. Why? Because for one thing, it is adorable! I can picture a pregnant girl living on the 13th floor – the 13th floor (for one who is superstitious) is significant. And I can see you following folks into the elevator and making your exit with them, then climbing the stairs : ) A intriguing story is a terrible thing to waste. I say go for it! I’ll be looking forward to either a narrative poem or a story.
ReplyDeleteDebra, Thank you for the brilliant suggestion, I love it. Will definitely write a post on it and the credit for it will go to you. Thank you for the story prompt, dear friend...take care
ReplyDeleteI have a fear as well as fascination for water. I love to swim but with always a sense of unease. If you believe in regression and past lfe, they say all our uncalled for fears in this lifetime are also manifestations of something that may have happened in our previous lives. Very interesting post Debra.
ReplyDeletehttp://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.com/2011/07/i-am-not-photographerron-is.html
Debra,
ReplyDeleteI must say a very well-researched and nicely compiled blog. Keep it up! We look forward to more info.
--
Shruti
I have run into personal and professional trouble because of my discomfort receiving injections. My boyfriend finally dragged me into the clinic and held me tight for my required immunizations. The nurse said we are "an adorable couple" -- haha!
ReplyDeleteI always like coming here and anxiously await your posts. I don't believe I have any ongoing overbearing fears that paralyze me.. I do have random moments of anxiety, but I've chalked that up to a particular moment. Lately, I've been working TOO HARD, work is manic, and daughter is getting reading to leave for college, and I recently lost my closet friend. The combo packed a punch and knocked me on my backside. I didn't want to go to sleep and end up staring at the ceiling. What I call a momentary phobia I think..
ReplyDelete@ Rimly – fear and fascination of water, same here. There’s a memory I have of being a young child who could no more swim than she could fly, and yet she dripped her way from the shallow end of the pool to the deep end, climbed up the silver ladder and jumped off the high dive and nearly drowned.
ReplyDeleteAnd the ocean’s force is to be feared too, for I lost a childhood friend to its currents, but still I stand in awe of its vast power.
@ Shruti – welcome to my writing world; it’s such a pleasure to meet you. I just went over to your place and will return sometime today or ASAP and read “Living in a Crazy World” when I’m able to sit down and focus without interruption.
ReplyDelete@ Linda – You’ve struck a chord here when you mention injections. The shot needles don’t feel like our friends do they? Call me crazy, but I won’t go near a clinic unless I’m at death’s door. And allowing them to draw blood feels like I’m being sucked dry by a vampire. I guess you’re lucky to have someone who’ll hold you for those required injections though – I guess :)
ReplyDelete@ Brenda - Neither do I have any paralyzing fears. But, like you, occasional and random moments of anxiety. Being a recluse has helped me overcome many : ) Staying in my shell and living like a hermit crab or snail or any creature that was designed by nature to hide has greatly helped.
ReplyDeleteWhen everything hits you at once, and when you’re facing loss, and when your daughter is about to leave home for college and when you’re working overtime, yeah… I know how you feel. Sometimes fears are subtle and sneaky as snakes, just sort of creeping up on you. Fear of insomnia. Fear of developing empty nest syndrome. And so on and so on and Scooby dooby doo-bee
Great post!
ReplyDeleteI think though if we stick too much to our shells we will be sheltered from the beauty around us. Just a thought.
I have a lot of fears! Spiders, flying insects, small spaces and the fear of death...I guess I am a nut case :) A moth flew into my ear last year and I was in such a state that I couldn´t even swallow. I forgot my name when we went to the ER and they had to inject me to keep me calm. It is not fun and I wish I could get better but unfortunately this is something that stems from my childhood :(
ReplyDeleteNelieta travel blog
For me...I hate getting into those closed mri scan machines...I panic as everything closes in on me!
ReplyDelete@ Aaron – sheltered from what beauty? Just kidding – I’ve been around the block a time or two. I still like my shell though, and only come out after it rains:)
ReplyDelete@ Savira – another claustrophobia sufferer… those MRI’s must be intimidating; I’ve heard from a number of folks who mentioned them. Have you suffered chronic headaches in the past Savira?
@ Nelieta - insectophobia, aye? Stung by a wasp or bee as a child? The moth incident sounds like a nightmare :( I can only imagine how horrible this must have been for you. I’d have freaked out too. Isn’t it amazing what panic such little creatures cause? But it’s them or us, right? I’m not taking any chances, no siree. Kill or be killed. I have no qualms about flushing a roach or a spider down the toilet.
ReplyDeleteI am fearful of many things. it's simple to understand why people get freaked out when they see something horrifying such as death due to car accident or lightening.
ReplyDeleteFears and anxiety grab on tight and it's hard to let them go when you don't remember why you were scared to begin with.
My daughter is scared of clowns but, not to the point of screaming; she just don't want them near her. I took anxiety meds for the longest time because I was a nervous wreck about so many things.
This was a great post Deb.
Debra - Wonderful, fascinating post! I love the fears you've uncovered - in yourself and in others. We are such interesting, complex creatures with all of these interesting inner truths that some of us never share with anyone...
ReplyDeleteI've had many fears throughout my life - many have gone, some have remained. But it was confirmed for me a few weeks ago that I still have a fear of June Bugs! The only word I could find to describe this is: Entomophobia - the fear of bugs and insects. A June Bug go got stuck on my hand as a child and I couldn't get it off, causing the fear ever since. Those clicking sounds when they fly and fling themselves into the light - or into the wall or into your face - it's horrible!
p.s. I LOVE the artwork at the beginning of this post!
great post Debra...I am scared of heights and water..almost got drowned twice,so now I can't take the chance..will probably get a heart attack now..
ReplyDeletesnakes!! they scare the living daylights out of me. thank you for stopping by my blog.
ReplyDeletei love the painting with this post...it is stunning.
What a great post! I love the idea of the snail...taking it slow, sticking to it's shell, plodding on in life rhythmically.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this post I was trying to think of what I fear, what things I'm anxious about. I don't really have any phobias but I get very anxious with my children around roads or water. The speeding cars, crashing waves with their merciless undertow...life sometimes has no mercy and I fear, especially for my son who has no fears, that he will fall victim.
Just yesterday, we were at an outside concert and he ran to the road. He wanted to "catch" the bike rider who was riding on the other side of the street. The only thing that stopped him was me grabbing his shirt. My heart was beating so hard and all I could do was scold him than hold him tight against me, as cars whipped down the road just a few feet away, thanking God for the miracle of my son.
Though I don't have any phobias, my daughter does and that has really made me aware of how crippling actual phobias can be to people's lives. She has an intense fear/phobia of doctors and dentists. Last time we were at the dentist she hyperventaliated, locked herself in the bathroom and we ended up leaving with nothing having been done and a prescription for medication for our next visit to help calm her down. We haven't gone for that "next" visit yet...I think I'm starting to develop an anxiety of being with her in her phobic states! Gotta love parenting..anyways..sorry this is so long!
I thought I had Hydrophobia until recently when I conquered the fear by learning how to swim. Interesting post Deborah : )
ReplyDeleteI fear of running out of time Debra... I still wish to have a baby (oh, a husband first :P)...
ReplyDeleteThere are still a lot of things I'd like to do with my "future family"... but it seems that God wants something different for me right now... and I've been trying to resist it for the longest time...
Perhaps, that's another fear... of letting go of my own plans... hmmm....
So I'm re-learning to breathe Debra...
@ Jenn - studying psychology a while back – depth psychology in particular – I learned that anxieties and neuroses are prevalent and that we all have our demons to deal with. I embarked on the journey of self-analysis years ago to help myself overcome my anxieties and fears, but that in itself isn’t enough. Does it help to know why you’re scared? Yes, but just being able to identify the root causes won’t heal us. I’m still on the journey toward healing and wholeness.
ReplyDelete@ Kristen – whether we admit it or not, fear is a reality for all of us. I don’t know a single soul exempt. Like you said, some fears we overcome while others remain. June bugs! That’s a new one :) But after hearing your childhood story of the one that attached to your hand and wouldn’t let go… yeah, quite understandable why you still fear those clicking creatures who fling themselves into the light. I always thought of them as benign little buggers until I hear of them from your perspective. I’m steering clear :)
ReplyDelete@ Alpana – join the club. Fears of heights and water are among the top ten phobias. Having nearly drowned twice qualifies you to be fearful of the deep. Same here, I have my own near-drowning story.
ReplyDelete@ sukanyabora – Snakes! Eekk! We need more St. Patricks to drive all the snakes away, or at least the poisonous ones :(
@ Kriti – Yay for you – you conquered your fear and learned how to swim! Bravo!
@ Jessica – Those natural fears for your children’s safety are God-given instincts. Think of a mother cat, how protective they are over their young. Come near her kittens and she’ll slap a paw in your face faster than you can blink! That’s the best analogy I can think of to show the level of protectiveness we feel over how children. I will pray for you concerning your daughter’s anxiety over her medical appointments. That must be dreadful, having to deal with a fearful child.
ReplyDeleteWhen mine were younger I had the same fears over their physical safety as you – and come to think of it I still do. My Abigail is getting her driver’s license in a couple of weeks and that’s a scary thought :( I pray for the angel of the Lord to encompass her wherever she goes.
@ Melissa – running out of time; that’s a good one. Of course you want a husband before starting a family :) And if you fear letting go of your own plans, well, you’re in good company. On running out of time, wow, what a topic! I don’t want to die with the music in me… I want to finish writing everything I’m called to write before I go the way of all flesh… produce all the fruit I’m called to bear… finish the race – even if it’s at a snail’s pace (or a turtle’s). I’m glad you brought this up. Now you’ve given me more food for thought…Thank you.
ReplyDeleteGreat post as usual Debra. My fears strike very randomly at times; mainly having to do with the physical safety of my family. To help myself, I had to write down a sticky note that said, "Is this thought truth?"
ReplyDelete"Does this thought line up with the Word of God?"
Then I have to purposely think of something else, normally how much God loves me, for instance, If I told you not to think of a red bouncing ball I doubt you would be able to get rid of the image of a red bouncing ball...red bouncing ball...red bouncing ball...
I normally meditate on Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Wow, now I can meditate and think about how much God loves me and has my best in mind. And the fear leaves.
I'm glad you wrote this post, it reminded me of my sticky notes and that I still need to ask myself at times, "Is this thought truth?" Thank you!
Bill, how very wise of you to write your fears down on a sticky note and ask, “Is this thought truth?” I know a guy who writes all his ‘negative’ thoughts on sticky notes, posts them on the wall, then corrals them with tape in order to capture every thought and bring it into captivity. http://www.deepintolove.com/2011/06/21/love-fires-the-first-shot-in-the-love-war-against-negative-voices/
ReplyDeleteInstead of writing down my negative thoughts I counter them with a scripture that directly opposes the thought – same as you. The Word works every time for me too.
Instinct reminds our animal selves to act in a lifesaving way when threatened. I get anxious and fearful only when I ignore my instinct or when fear takes the driver's seat...
ReplyDeleteCathy, I couldn’t agree more. We ignore our instincts at own peril. This we have learned from experience. A friend of mine was in Sri Lanka when the tsunami hit a few years ago. Her plan had been to go to the beach that day, but instinct took the driver’s seat and drove them to the mountains instead. She followed the animals to higher ground and survived the catastrophe.
ReplyDeletethere are very few writers who could keep my interest when what I'm reading doesn't seem to be about the title. And you saved it for the very last line – clever minx!! And I'm glad I read it all – all the way down there. Interesting that you would write this – as I'm writing of negative voices - and then spiders. I consider it an honor to think our minds walk the same paths on occasion :) I do have a fear of spiders. And I am confronting more fears now than ever –. I heart the way you write. I really do. It is such a blessing to be able to read you. God bless and keep you and all of yours Debra.
ReplyDeleteCraig, interesting analysis about reading a post that doesn’t seem to match the title :) I originally had a different title, but changed it after the writing was finished because the ending led me to the new title.
ReplyDeleteI’m looking forward to what you have to say about spiders. Why do you suppose God made spiders? The only one I’ve ever liked was Charlotte, heroine of Charlotte’s Web.
We should wrestle our fears to the ground and turn them into meaning with our words. Writing is cathartic. Writing can be healing. It’s a gift from God and for God (and his people). When we talk about our own fears we help liberate others from theirs.
I have been on this place to comment two times now once the other day when this post came out and now....still sitting on WHAT DO I FEAR!
ReplyDeleteFinding my fears keep stemming from some sort of need to control things. I dont fear spiders..I just dont like them. I dont fear snakes I just dont like them. But what I do fear which is more like what makes me panic is not being prepared. :0/
Starla, the extraordinary chick! You don’t fear spiders? Or snakes?
ReplyDeleteI wonder what you fear not being prepared for…
I used to think I had a fear of heights, but recently I've decided it's a fear of falling instead (related, but different). I think I'm also afraid of "bad guys" (burglars, abusers, etc.) for no particular reasons. I'm reading different books this year on overcoming fear through faith and I believe the Lord is doing a work in me after all these years. I praise him for that!
ReplyDeleteLisa, afraid of the bad guys, yeah, I know :( I claim Psalm 91. Living in the upper hood has made me aware that I’m not crazy after all. In this historic district there are a few gangs, one called MOE (money over everything). A friend lives in a beautiful old house in the lower hood downtown and is always paranoid. Of course it doesn’t help to watch Criminal Minds :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting post. I used to be terrified of snakes until we moved to the country. We live on acreage and have goats and a horse. Now I value snakes for their ability to keep our mouse population down. The mice hang around the barn eating grain. The barn cats keep the snake population down. The cycle of life. However, I doubt I will ever get over my fear of tight, enclosed spaces. I have no idea how it started. :D BTW I love the photo you chose for this post! I think it's the big intense eyes and the title.
ReplyDeleteMari, good to hear that your place is snake friendly. I knew you owned a horse but didn’t know you kept goats too. Between the snakes and the barn cats your grain should remain safe and sound, hopefully – yes, the cycle of life. I still wonder what purpose mosquitoes serve though :(
ReplyDeleteI love this image of the Snail Trainer too. The intense eyes seem to depict the message from a mile away. Are you ready to share any of your exquisite work? Every time I write for this blog, I think of you and wonder if you have any images I could use. *hint*
I've been fortunate that I haven't ever really had too many irrational fears. I'm not a fan of spiders or other creepy crawly critters, but it's not at phobia levels. Something that did surprise me, most recently, is that I've developed what I think is a short-term jittery reaction to storms. East TN was hit very hard, multiple times, with tornado weather earlier this year, with all of it hitting my neighborhood w/ a vengeance. Normally, I enjoy listening to storms, especially at night. It tends to soothe me right to sleep. That, however, has given way to a healthy respect and diligence to stay awake and be prepared in case the weather turns deadly once more. Again, this isn't at phobic levels of fear, but it has definitely shifted my reactions for the short term. With luck, this spate of bad weather will dissipate and I'll return to snoozing right through storms.
ReplyDelete~ Dawn
Dawn, none of my fears are at phobia level either. I tend to just write about them, like that spider poem I once wrote. Can you imagine? I know about the east TN tornados – they hit eastern NC as well and devastated areas of our city. So yeah, being jittery over severe weather would be a normal fear, better termed instinct, right? The fear that causes common sense to rule action and keep us from harm’s way. Rainfall at bedtime is my favorite. I like being semi-conscious during thunderstorms :)
ReplyDeletereally good
ReplyDeleteThank you Jerly.
ReplyDeleteDebra, I love the closing sentence of this post! I'm horribly claustrophobic. The tales I could tell of having suffered the worst panic attacks while being locked in a bathroom, dressing room, and other small places. One of my greatest fears is to be stuck in an elevator--that's why I always take the stairs! I have the hardest time when I fly too. I really have to do breathing exercises, meditaion and induce sleep in order to get through a trip. I wish it weren't so!
ReplyDeleteBella, poor thing! Speaking of being stuck in a closed-in space… how about when you’re locked in a stall in a public restroom when the lock in jammed, and you start to panic right there where everyone can hear your alarm, your lack of poise and grace as you push and shove, jiggle the lock, swear a time or two (not-so-under-your-breath) and finally fall out the door :) Ever had that happen?
ReplyDeleteNowadays, isn’t everybody afraid of flying? That makes millions of us.