Monday, August 8, 2011

A Healing Moment



Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. ~ Hippocrates

Six months along and still no plan.  No doctor.  No hospital.  No clue.  Only one thing is sure.  There will be no return visit to the local labor and delivery… 

Not at the risk of reliving the same nightmare as the last time when I was abandoned by the night staff in maternity and cannot imagine anything short of crucifixion being more traumatic.  I might as well have been in a torture chamber. 

Reason enough to make a new plan Stan.  But where to go?   Who will help deliver my baby? 


In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity.  ~ Albert Einstein

When I arrive at her home in Raleigh a Native American woman answers the door. Her countenance is angel radiant and her smile warm and reassuring.  She introduces herself as Julia, my midwife’s mentor, and invites me inside.   

I sit in the living room amid a group of other expectant moms.  A lady beside me on the love seat turns my way and says, “You’ve had a difficult labor in the past and that’s why you’re here.

“Just to set your mind at ease, you’re in the right place.  This birth experience will be drastically different from the last.”  She doesn’t tag her words with “trust me” but somehow I do.  After all, the woman doesn’t know me and has no prior knowledge of my past. 

She also predicts that this time around will be a healing experience.  Her words are the clear sign I’ve been seeking.   This space holds an ambience of grace and peace.   I am in the right place.


Quick!  Get the Boiling Water!

In black and white picture shows, when women all had homebirths, you’d hear some frantic voice, “Quick! Get the boiling water!”  I’d always wondered what the boiling water was for…

Have you?   To find out, go to Natural Life Magazine and read “The Gentle Art of Birthing at Home,” which tells the full story of my homebirth and healing miracle.  And if you like the piece I’d appreciate a tweet.       


Sixteen years ago she was born on August 10th.    Say Happy Birthday to Abi. 



When have you experienced a healing moment in your life?

90 comments:

  1. Beautiful girl and what a wonderful way to have brought her into the world! There was so much I didn't know about my choices for giving birth 15 years ago. While I never had a home birth, I'm glad I got wiser with each one :) Happy Birthday to your precious girl!

    Blessings,
    Mel
    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

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  2. Serendipity is at work! One important healing moment for me was learning about 'the edge', the topic of my recent (15 minutes ago) post at While the Dervish Dances. The edge is where 2 opposites come together, where life thrives...

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  3. Mel, you are surely right in saying, “I’m glad I got wiser with each one.” That’s how it seems to work, experience and life being the best teacher. Thanks. Good to hear from you.

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  4. Cathy, I just scooted over to your writing place and I’m still pondering your question, “What steadies you as you fling yourself forward into the abyss?” Being a mountain goat myself, I should know right off, but will return momentarily and read this charming piece again, and give the question a shot.

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  5. Debra, your daughter is gorgeous! I know she has been a blessing to you and I hope she has a most wonderful birthday.
    My most healing moment came a year and a half after my husband died. When he passed away, so did my joy; sure, I learned to smile and laugh again, but my heart wasn't in it. Then, one afternoon when I was helping with children's choir, we warmed up with the song, "I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart". The kids were dancing and leaping all around and singing their hearts out; unexpectedly, I found myself doing the same thing with even wilder abandon! I literally felt joy welling up in me like a spring from the Living Water; God returned my joy to me when I was ready to receive it. Praise Him!

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  6. My word, that child has some amazing eyes, and a truly wonderful energy about her! No small wonder, of course. I believe that new Souls know exactly which parents to choose for the best harmony.

    What was my most healing moment? I can't pinpoint a single one. Being in the presence of those I love the most is always uplifting, and that is what initially comes to mind. Learning that something I've written has had a profound, healing effect on someone who visits my blog is incredibly touching. That energy returns when we extend ourselves in a loving manner. Connecting on an intellectual and heart level with blogging friends like you is a special joy. See? They're too numerous to list. And the best part is, they're never ending!

    Much love,
    Dawn

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  7. Happy Birthday Abi!

    With both of our sons, due to medical issues Shannon was restricted to C-Section births. And although we were well cared for by the hospital staffs both times, it struck me each time how cold and clinical a way it seemed to be to enter the world. I'm so happy that Abi's entrance was made in a happier, loving way, and that you received that healing experience you needed Debra.

    Have a Blessed Day!

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  8. Pure beauty and what a way to have her!It is these special moments that heals the soul and keep the connection.

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  9. Martha, I had no idea your husband had died. Of course you lost your joy.
    When I read your story, I was reminded of C.S. Lewis’s book, Surprised by Joy. Amazing moment!

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  10. Dawn, aren’t those eyes amazing though? Love your term “new souls.” Someone told me back when I was expecting her that God’s eyes searched the earth to and fro, looking for just the right mother for her. I hope I haven’t disappointed.
    Your blog is aptly named. Just the title alone, “Healing Morning” offers hope. I’ve found many a heartening word there. A place where kindred spirits connect is always a blessing!

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  11. Phil, thank you for the birthday wishes for Abi; I’ll pass them along. We had a lovely meditation moment at your place today and meaningful discussion.
    My oldest daughter Hannah also had C-sections. No picnic for sure. And yes, it does seem a cold and clinical way to enter the world. But loving parents compensate quickly with warm arms and tender affections.

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  12. Savira, a friend told me that she was my miracle baby (before she was born). Of course all children are miracles… but I had no idea at the time just how healing the moment would turn out to be. That stranger was right :)

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  13. Beautiful story and Happy Birthday to Abi! I read your article and retweeted it. How I wish my births could have been that peaceful. Thanks for sharing Debra.
    ~cath xo

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  14. What a wonderful story Debra. I have always found childbirth to be a mystery full of anxiety, fear and pain... until my girlfriend had an amazing birth by using hypnobirthing - a technique using self-hypnosis that brings mom, dad and babe into a relaxed state throughout the labour. Now I am fascinated with childbirth (albeit still a bit scared), and intrigued by those of us brave enough to step outside the medical institution to do it. Thank you for sharing your experience and a very happy birthday to Abi.

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  15. Cath, thanks for the birthday wishes, for reading the story, and for the tweet! I appreciate that so much. Bless you girl!

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  16. Kristen, your girlfriend’s birth experience sounds similar to mine. My midwife suggested the Bradley method, and compared to Lamaze it was a breeze! It’s a simple method: no complex breathing techniques and such. When your turn comes let me know and I’ll head to Canada :)
    Thank you so much for the birthday wishes!

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  17. Thank you so much Debra - it was be an honour!!

    p.s. I don't have a twitter account, but have posted your article to my Facebook page. Wonderful story - I hope it will inspire other women to take a similar path.

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  18. Deb there is a comment for you at my blog I thought you might like to see.

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  19. Regarding Phather Phil's comment, both of mine were C-sections, too; one emergency and the next planned out of fear that the second would go the way of the first. How I reveled in and praised God that my daughter was able, with relatively little pain and a warm environment with a midwife, give birth to her beautiful child and my granddaughter.
    I learned through the birth of my son, almost the demise of us both, that God had other plans in the making. He who begins a good work in all of us will be faithful to complete it! He saved both my son and me, and I am so thankful to this day for all His blessings!

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  20. @ Kristen - thank you for posting the article on your FB page! I hope it inspires others to explore a more peaceful and enjoyable alternative as well.

    @ Elizabeth – I’ll be right over.

    @ Martha – you have so many amazing experiences to share…that your life and your son’s were spared; now there’s a miracle! My daughter had two C-sections, as I told Phil. And now she’s expecting a third, this time a daughter. I wonder if she’ll have a C-section this time. You don’t look like a grandmother :)

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  21. Happy Birthday Abi!! Debra your daughter has beautiful eyes, she's a beauty takes after her mom :)

    Having 5 children myself, first 3 easy as pie. 4th was the scariest thing that I've ever gone through. 5th was elected c-section because of 4th "emergency c-section" and the fear of reliving the horror of the 4th birthing experience.

    Having a peaceful, calm birthing experience is a blessing. I definitely did my share of praying when my daughter went into labor,(I was there to see my grand baby born)I was hoping her birthing experience wouldn't be like my last 2. I still am thankful that my prayers were answered that day. I too will be a grand mother again soon Sept 26th 2011 is due date of my 3rd grand baby (a girl)

    Loved your post and article, tweeted shared and liked :)

    Happy Birthday again Abi!

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  22. Deb - thank you for the birthday wishes. Just shared with Abi your wonderful compliment on her eyes… and aren’t you sweet to say that about me :)

    Girl, you have been busy with 5 children! I know those C-sections were no fun :( And how scared you must have been with the emergency C.

    Yes, after the 2nd birth, the third (and final) one did seem like a miracle. It’s among the best things that have ever happened to me.

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  23. Beautiful beautiful Abi - she is stunning and it really must have been a healing moment to bring her to this world! Happy B'day to her! Will definitely tweet your post.

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  24. Beautiful girl! Happy Birthday Abi & Mommy!!!

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  25. Did you also paint the pictures? Beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story! Lovely post, lovely Abi!:)

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  26. @ Kriti – thank you so much! And yes it was a healing moment and a major blessing to bring her into the world. BTW, you can also tweet and recommend the article by clicking on Natural Life Magazine, which I've linked back to in this post.

    @ Linda – thank you for the birthday wishes - hugs!

    @ Brynne - Don’t I wish I could paint like that? No, I didn’t paint these, but did link back to the artists. Thank you for stopping by!

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  27. Oh my, she is a beauty. Happy birthday to both mom and daughter.

    Debra you have such a way of weaving a story such that your readers are pulled in and knee deep in a story that readers like the start of a novel. I am always sad the write ends because I am reading to turn the page.
    Healing moment – mine was the morning my told me he was going to be a poet. He had just woken up after have a brain tumor removed. I was suspicious of his behavior but did as he asked and went to buy him a journal. I bought two that morning. He started writing poems that afternoon and I started writing. What started as a purge of thoughts became my healing agent.

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  28. Brenda, thank you for the birthday wishes – and also for your uplifting words! As a fellow writer you know about word economy... the sin of wordiness and redundancy. And what it means to read crisp, polished, sparkling work… something born writers always aim for, right?
    Your journal story is wonderful! And just look what happened… have you written about this yet? Because if you haven’t I hope you will.

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  29. At first i will say happy birth day to Aby....and now i will appriciate this article ..very nice,informative and presented in very attractive..catchy manner...Best wishes.
    Hemant
    http://childrensheaven.blogspot.com

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  30. Thank you Hermant! I appreciate your kind words and birthday wishes for Abi. Best wishes to you as well.

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  31. Happy Birthday Abi :) Today is her day (in my country)...

    We are truly connected Debra...this is how the Spirit works...it unites people of different places at different times to a single most blessed moment :*

    We've been trained to assist mothers who give birth at home, but I haven't been into that situation before. Thanks for sharing this wonderful moment with us.

    It is a healing experience, I felt it :*

    Love you Debra :)

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  32. Beautiful girl, beautiful experience, beautiful love.

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  33. What a beautiful story, your Abi entering the world singing! Happy birthday to her! I don't know how this sounds but I have sort of a fetish for people's accounts of birth or a witnessed death. There's nothing in life more dramatic or real.

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  34. Melissa – Yes we are connected, no matter how far apart we live. A kindred spirit you are, and I’m grateful to know you even from a distance. But strangely, it doesn’t seem that there are miles between us because we stay in touch. In fact, we ‘talk’ more than some of my friends in my own city – and more than small talk.
    It was my pleasure sharing this healing moment. If you’ve never assisted in childbirth, I hope you get a chance to witness such a miracle. And thank you for the birthday wishes for Abi!

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  35. Jan, thank you for your sweet words. Bless you!

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  36. Adriene – She’s what you’d call a born singer :) And she still sings – has even recorded a CD.
    I love stories of life and death too… those things worth writing about. Things that matter. No sense wasting words on trivia, that’s for sure. Life’s too short.
    Thank you for swinging by and saying “happy birthday!” I’m saving these as a keepsake of sweet 16 – remember that special year? It’s a milestone. License time :(

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  37. Birthing is such a wonderful moment. I was present at our first 2 children's births. The third arrived early too quickly, there was no time for my wife to get a message to my work. I'd have loved to have been there.

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  38. Jim, at least you were there for the births of your first two. Sorry about you missing the third though :(
    The last one must’ve come early? Otherwise I’m sure you’d have taken off work.
    Yes, witnessing a new soul come into the world is pure joy.

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  39. Happy birthday Abi...and I think this is one the most beautiful posts I have read...I always regret not having a second.

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  40. Oh! I remember the exact same words the midwife told me, "Get the boiling water..." when Elijah my son was born. And honestly, I also wonder what's the boiling water for...
    Happy B-day Abi!!!

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  41. Alpana, thank you for the kindest words and for the birthday wishes. Bless you dear one.

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  42. Fherymas – the explanation for the boiling water can be found if you click on the link, Natural Life Magazine (last paragraph), and read my article. Thank you for stopping by. Have a wonderful day.

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  43. Happy Birthday Abbi! You have a radiant daughter...what a blessings she must be! I've had many friends who have had homebirths and I love the idea of birthing at home, in an intimate environment and not in the sterile and pushy environment of the hosptial.

    Beautiful post :)

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  44. Jessica, big contrast between the two, home and hospital.
    Same with dying; I hope to be in my own bed in my own room.
    Thank you for the birthday wishes!

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  45. Stopping by to wish the Birthday Girl a Happy Birthday again...

    Happy Sweet 16th Abi!!
    Hope your day is awesome!

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  46. What a great tribute to a really beautiful young women. May you have many years of happy memories to share with each other!!!



    http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/08/photographing-street-photography.html

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  47. @ Debbie – Thank you girlfriend. Years down the road I’ll have this memento of this day and well wishes from all my friends.

    @ Jim – This is the BIG one, the milestone year. Your words mean so much; thank you!

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  48. Happy Birthday Abi! May you have a wonderful 16th birthday! What a wonderful memory Debra. God bless both of you!

    Nelieta travel blog

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  49. Such a moving post and what a wonderful way to celebrate not only her birthday but your love too.

    Happy Birthday Abi and Debra - will you be my mother? x

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  50. Happy birthday Abi. You're a beautiful young lady!

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  51. @ Nelieta – Thank you so much for the birthday blessings – blessings back at ‘ch!

    @ Sarah Jane - Your words are so sweet. Thank you for helping us celebrate. Yes, I’ll be your mother too. And Sam’s grandmother :)

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  52. Leah, thank you for stopping by and saying “Happy Birthday.”
    What exciting news about your forthcoming book! Cheers!!!
    Swinging by your place too after birthday cake :)

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  53. Happy Birthday, Abi...what an absolutely beautiful story!

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  54. Happy sweet sixteenth, Abi. I hope you had a wonderful day.

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  55. @ Amy – Thank you for the kind words of encouragement! You should have left me your blog link; I couldn’t seem to track you down :(

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  56. @ Anna - Thank you for the birthday wishes. At first I wasn’t sure how this day would turn out (a dark cloud loomed in the beginning), but we saw a happy ending after all : )

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  57. Oh what an experience, Debra. I have not had a child but I think that these days doctors and women tend to treat pregnancy as an illness...My paternal grandmother gave birth to 16 children, all birthed at home...And most of them on the very same bed. I remember my little cousin showing off the bed to some visitors and saying 'This is the born bed.' Abi looks lovely - but then it's in the genes :)

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  58. Corinne, exactly! They treat childbirth in the sterile manner of having a tumor removed :( My brothers and I were all born at home too. Your little cousin’s term, “the born bed” is precious. XOX

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  59. Happy Birthday to your gorgeous girl! She has the most wondrous eyes and a beautiful energy. It was so lovely to read your story about her birth...this has been a healing moment for me! I was not able to experience a home birth with either of my two children, but feel harmony with the concept. I love being invited to share in the wonder of life through people's stories...thank you for gifting us with yours.

    Blessings and love ❤

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  60. Happy Birthday Abi!! I'm so thankful everything went well during the birthing process with your lovely daughter and I'm sure you have many wonderful memories. Wishing the two of you many more great years together. Blessings!!!

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  61. Bec – Speaking of Abi… After sharing your meaningful comment with her - *happy smiles* - the two of us swing pronto over to your place because, well, with a name like the happiness group, we couldn’t resist :)) Then we read ‘feel-good’ tips that arrive just in time. Thank you so much for your inspiring feedback. And it’s such a pleasure to have discovered your happy writing home.

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  62. David – Blessings right back at cha, and thank you so much for these warm birthday wishes for Abi – she’s eating them up! She’d have loved Erin…those two should win Oscars :))

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  63. What a beautiful daughter! Enjoy these years. I remember when mine turned 16, boy, how time flies!

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  64. Abi is soo beautiful, Debra! :-) I remember one mother relating to me the difficulty she experienced when she gave birth. She told me how difficult labor pain was and the pain of her episiotomy wound when the anesthesia wears off. She told me that all the pain she experienced no longer mattered when she found out that her baby was okay.

    Your difficult pregnancy must be all worth the pain when you have a gem of a daughter like Abi. :-)

    Take care and God bless, Debra. And happy birthday to your lovely daughter! :-)

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  65. Debi – Thank you! I am enjoying every minute we’re together. Yes indeed, how time flies!

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  66. Irene – Thank you for your sweet words and birthday wishes.
    I’ve also heard that childbirth is probably the soonest forgotten pain. The difficult labor and delivery wasn’t with Abi; it was with my first daughter Hannah. But indeed, I was grateful she was okay at the end of the day. The healing of that traumatic birth came many years later when Abi, my third child, was born in the comfort and coziness of home.
    Hope you’re during well Irene.

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  67. She is such a beauty your Abi! I have had my healing moments. I remember last year when after a very traumatic night I took a life changing decision and by the end of it I was completely drained, that's when my cousin sister had me take a hot water bath in salt. she said that salt purges you of all negativity. I remember soaking in that hot water and feeling life return to me. That was very soothing and also set me in my process to healing.

    http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.com/2011/08/road.html

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  68. What an amazing story!!! Thank you for sharing that.
    Happy Birthday Abi!
    A healing moment that has always stood out to me happened in my teen years. I was so mad, frustrated, ticked off - and I just went outside at 3:00 in the morning and started running.
    There was no one outside - it was quiet and peaceful - and it was a clear night so you could see the stars. The dark peaceful night calmed me down and I had a healing moment. Ever since then I've always enjoyed being outside in the early morning - especially in the fall and spring when it's a little bit cool.

    MT Photography - Vivid Flowers and my 4 big cats!

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  69. Rimly – have you ever tried Aura Casia bath salts? Nothing like aromatherapy to relieve fatigue and stress girl! I use mineral bath salts for the mind, body and spirit. Your cousin’s sister was in touch with the art of healing to send you to the warm bath tub :)

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  70. Michael – I love your healing moment…an early morning run under the stars…an emotional release from the tension, anger and frustration…an escape from the madding crowd and the noise… a moment of solitude and peace…
    And I love your photography! BTW I went over and ‘liked’ your FB site :)

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  71. What a beautiful story and lovely daughter! A very happy birthday to Abi! Thanks for the uplifting post.

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  72. Debra, your daughter is lovely! And what a lovely post this is! In the midst of always reading or hearing "horror" stories of labor, it's truly refreshing to read your wonderful take on the experience. I gave birth in a sterile hospital where my son's father was not allowed to come in and where I didn't have one friendly face to look at during one of the most important moments of my life. I still remember having to ask the doctor the sex of my baby and even petioning to see him. Not a good experince at all. Thank goodness this isn't the case for all of us. Thank you for sharing and here's hoping Abby had a wonderful day!

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  73. Annie – Thank you for the lovely compliment and for the birthday wishes for Abi – she’s loving the spotlight, let me tell you!

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  74. Bella – Oh my, what a lousy environment :( It sounds like something out of the 40’s or 50’s - almost sounds as awful as my 2nd birthing experience when I was abandoned. I didn’t tell this in the post, but I’ll let you in on a secret: they didn’t even call the doctor until Hannah was being born already. Until her head was emerging. Then Ed (doc.) comes barreling in almost cursing, pulling on his gloves and saying, “Why didn’t you call me before now?!” So this should make you feel a little better :)
    Thank you for the birthday greetings!

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  75. What a beautiful blog. You have a beautiful daughter.I hope she had a wonderful birthday.

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  76. Thanks Sonia! She did have a wonderful birthday :)

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  77. Happy 16th Birthday Belated to your wondrously gorgeous daughter!!

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  78. Thank you and bless you Jane! Haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope you're doing well.

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  79. Your daughter is beautiful and I'm sure brings much joy to your life! Belated happy birthday to Abi. I'm a proponent for home birth. Had I known the complications I could have avoided I would have taken that route rather than my two hospital deliveries.

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  80. Mari, yes Abi is a pure joy! I’ll be sure she gets your birthday wishes when she returns from the beach. I’ve had two hospital deliveries and - believe me - the home birth was way easier. Why doesn’t it surprise me that most people don’t know this?
    We’ll talk soon.

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  81. So that is your baby. Here it is 3:30ish AM - just prayed as promised - and decided to scoot over before writing my posts. The Native American-ish art - not sure if it is because I'm no expert - but it had that feel. And everything right down to the surprise birthday at the end (((heart))) Happy belated birthday to Abi - and because I'm beginning to figure this out - to you too:) God Bless you Debra.

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  82. Dear Debra, I just wanted to return once more to thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment on my blog. It's really lovely to hear that you enjoy my writing..I can't tell you how encouraged I feel! Thank you SO much!!

    Blessings to you Debra and hugs from me
    Jane

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  83. Dear Debra, thank you for your comment at The Art of Life. I have been pondering your question about a healing moment. Once upon a time I had a huge, gaping "father wound". I had always been Daddy's little girl and when I was 12, almost 13, on Christmas Eve, he left my mother, and by extension, his 5 children . . . me. Left for another woman, with other children. He came back after a few years, but he was oh so different. After a few more years he left again and married my aunt. After I came to know the Lord I refused to call him "Father" because fathers hurt you and then they left. The healing moment, was of course, a series of healing moments while walking with Jesus, but the "aha" moment came when I discovered the truth of his childhood, the horrors he had endured. My heart flooded with compassion and the tide was turned as I released forgiveness to him. I now have a sweet relationship with my dad, but best of all, I can freely call God, Father . . . and usually I call him Papa. Thanks for asking the question .

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  84. Hey Debra, me again, I was so caught up in answering the ? that I forget to say how beautiful your blog is. I love the colour scheme and the art work is stunning.

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  85. Craig, that’s right – that’s my baby. Which just goes to show I’m no ‘spring chicken’, not when my ‘baby’ is sixteen :) But my birthday is January first, so that makes me a New Year’s baby. Baby Derby winner and all. And so, come the first day of 2012 I’ll be sure to remind you all to celebrate with me!

    Finally, let me say that your 3:30-ish prayer worked quite well because I wasn’t even afraid last night. Joy unspeakable! I just love having a night owl prayer partner! From now on, when I’m up late (as I often am) I promise to be faithful in returning the love. Sleeplessness is my cue to pray for Craig.

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  86. Jane - I need to tell you that several times I returned to your site yesterday just to experience one more moment of aesthetic inspiration. “Same Old…” from the quote by Susan Fletcher, to your own magical memory of tea rooms and music and beauty, to the image of pale lilac gloves charmed my soul!

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  87. Andrea Dawn – first, what a divine name you have! It sings loveliness.
    And the story of your father’s abandoning you on the Christmas of your 12th year – Christmas, of all times :( – is affecting. I wonder if you’ve ever written this story in any form… poetry or prose or song. Because it is powerful. Especially how it reveals the gradual process of healing, awakening to forgiveness from the heart, and the blessed redemptive outcome. It’s the perfect illustration of ‘beauty for ashes.’ Thank you so much for sharing your poignant story of healing and love. It should be widely published.

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  88. I don't think I've had a major healing moment yet, I think it's still in progress.. when it hits I'll know. Too many 'cuts and bruises' at the moment, tackling them one at a time...
    but faith is there.
    I hope I will have something to say one day soon.
    Inspiring post and .. lovely art piece.

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  89. Being Me, I wish I knew your real name…the moniker works too though :)
    When your major healing moment hits girl, please do let me know. I understand that you’ve gone through some difficult places, so it sounds like you could use some inner healing.

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  90. Wow, this was moving, and you daughter is a gorgeous girl! Also, who is the artist you have here? LOVE the paintings.

    I feel healing every time I go to my wonderful chiropractor, Lynn Gerner. Her hands and her heart work together and are magical.

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